Sunday, November 27, 2005


FLA LADY today purchased some "very expensive" LEE brand "PRESS ON-BRAINS" after visiting her local nail salon, "THE RUSTY BATTLEAXE HAG AND BAG WAXERY TRIMMERY AND SALON" where she also had a complete nail job done.

The brains include LEE PRESS ON NAILS, and showcase the latest holiday craze for conservative women, PRESS ON BRAINS.

PRESS ON BRAINS includes a belt to tie the brain to the head and also includes a full set of LEE PRESS ON NAILS.

FLA LADY simply loves new LEE PRESS ON BRAINS which include the security belt many conservative women also use to hold the brain in place over their faces, keeping them safe from minorities, bad news about the PRESIDENT, IRAQ, or the price of BRAINWASH going up so dramatically in the last week.

The only flaw in the new brains are that they are unsafe while driving, and are totally ineffective when OPRAH is on tv or in the vicinity. The 5 thousand dollar price tag did not discourage FLA LADY, who said "My hubby man said if I didnt get me some brains I was gonna be sleeping in drains, so this is just what I need to try to save my allready rocky marraige. Thank God I have the cash on hand, that is no problem. As a matter of fact, I regularly go on PALTALK and tell everyone about how rich and well off I am in comparison to how destitute they must be." FLA LADY would not comment on how much she spent on the nail job, remarking" All you need to know is I care about poor destitute immigrants who are probably living as slaves, because I tipped the poor destitute immigrant nail girl a lot of money, and anyway, it is more than you make in a month. My personal beauty is the center of my world. And my hubby can afford it. If I can keep him."

FLA LADY is expected to soon preach about how she is better off and has more money than anyone else does as she shows off her new LEE PRESS ON BRAINS, so when you see her, be sure to give her a compliment on how nice they look over her face!

LEE PRESS ON BRAINS are available at all leading salons who cater to stanky republican battleaxes who think cosmetics can even hope to hide the foul and pervasive stench of vanity, blindness to others, and general brainlessness, and will soon be available to men as well.

M.B. 2005


Known for his lack of a skeleton, this crazy psychotic creepy crawler of the paltalk ocean
managed to use his lack of bones to slither through the doorway to more PALTALK chatrooms today.

Not seen much recently, CHARLIE 3 now puts on his act with diminished frequency but the same 7 or 8 cut and paste vague generalised phrases as he used in all the other rooms which banned him for being such a ridiculous troll.

Famous on PALTALK for his open ended repetitive comments , which have not changed one iota in 3 years, he is most famous for his proclivity to insist his 7 or 8 ready made to cut and paste vague and generalised statements can substitute for actual debate, as he implies muslims are bad, bush is good and wars are natural. Using the BRUTE LOGIC "Speak only when most of the room is ignoring you as a last ditch effort to get attention" technique is CHARLIE 3's usual MODUS OPERANDI as he attempts to ruin good diuscussions on a multitude of topics.

Known as a namby pamby chair moistener for the last several years, CHARLIE 3 seems better suited to hang in rooms which advocate or tolerate the advocation of the destruction of entire races or faiths or beliefs using vague generalised hateful slogans which are repetively cut and pasted, and not in rooms which allow good political discussion on issues.

We suggest a TOTAL IGNORE POLICY with CHARLIE 3, as he simply has nothng new to say.



TWEETLE DEE, local paltalk fake soldier and racist, was today hired by the PENTAGON to work on a new project it is calling " PROJECT BORE A TRON".

Spokespersons for the pentagon would only say the project would be tested in PALTALK CHATROOMS and only by TWEETLE DEE, who will use it as he espouses hatred of muslims, and chicken hawks for a war he isnt really fighting.

The project is an offshoot of an earlier experiment, the TWEETLE DEE WING MOUNTED 50 I.Q. GUNNER POSITION, which failed when the test subject, DR CLEAN fell out of his harness and plummeted into a pile of cowshit, breaking his stank bone in 4 places.

Inside sources say the ray is capable of going on and on about "when I was in Somalia" , and segueing into " why I hate muslims" and then again into " why you chatroom liberals are wasting time discussing things I don't understand" until every living thing in range is bored into submission.

The ray has been sucessful in YAHOO chatrooms in test trials, sources say, and could be deployed in chatrooms any time TWEETLE DEE is "ON DUTY" .


Well known PALTALK resident and issue-oriented spin-doctor PEACE LOVER (known as P LOVER after a string of wet pants on mic related incidents) has again wet himself while on the mic on PALTALK, and yet again escaped electrocution.

Apparently angry and disuillusioned after jumping on yet another "ISSUE TRAIN" which at first offered an illusory promise of greatness and then quickly turned into a "PERSONALITY TRAINWRECK", P LOVER first wet his pants, then cried like a baby with a bad diaper rash about his own lack of foresight, claiming " everyone else wasnt doing enough."

P lover enjoys getting on mic to berate others for not doing more to jump on issue related trains like he does, and in spite of his crippling diaper rash and often fully loaded and cumbersome diaper getting in his way. GOOD FOR YOU P LOVER! CARRY ON THE GOOD FIGHT!

P LOVER's latest slap came when he was fired by AN INTERNET RADIO STATION after he misjudged the quality of people he was getting involved with for the sake of potential personal aggrandisement in the guise of news reportage and was yet again taken in by a band of loonies and crackpots he didnt bother to research first before jumping on with.

P LOVER took the microphone in MAINSTREAM POLITICS and promptly peed his pants , then pouted about how no one is really doing anything cause they havent been fucked over like he has, then lay down in his own water pulling his pud and hoping some passer by would maybe change his full diaper. NO passer by did.

Known for asking NOOOOGIE repeatedly to lend a hand in his crusades, and being every time rebuked by NOOOOGIE, P LOVER seems a bit angry that some people are smarter than other people about how they choose to get involved then toot their lil horns about who they are involved with before it blows up in their faces. Taking it out on those of us who are too smart to do what you do also makes me laugh. ha ha . heh.

A CLUE FOR YOU ---------------------

Those of us who are doing things...Political activism, writing, whatever......Dont need to tell anyone what we do to get off on doing those things. It matters not if you know what I do, as long as I do it.

In fact, I insist most if not ALL people who claim some benevolent deeds or great work on the internet are actually full of 100% SHIT, and are only trying to give themselves invented credibility based on the invented pretext they "are involved in some great work they are telling you about" which in essence means nothing, is totally intangible, and anyone else could lie just as good if they chose to.

P LOVER will continue to search high and low for a diaper rash ointment good enough to stop the awfully itchy rash he now has, and has had for the last 2 years.




NELLYANDLYNN, known for her ridiculous support of ridiculous bush policies such as torture scored major points today as she visited her local beauty salon, " THE KRUSTY KRAB PET GROOMING SHOP" and decided to get herself a crotch shave . After looking through several idea books, NELLYANDLYNN chose a giant "W" to show her support for BUSH.

Crotch shaving , which is a popular beauty service offered at many local salons, is popular with republican and conservative women (who are often more hirstue than their husbands) and the "GIANT CROTCH SHAVE W" has been a G.O.P. standard for hairy G.O.P. women (and sometimes their husbands) since 2001.

The removal of hair was sucessfully performed by a salon technician using an electric dog clippers.

NELLYANDLYNN was reportedly satisfied with her new haircut, although it was in no way as nice as the one FLA LADY got last week and paid far far more for, since FLA LADY is so much better than anyone else is, can afford it , and wants to flaunt it.



SLAMMER_18, hilarious ass clown and liar, today filed for STANKRUPTCY, citing " a horrible personal odor" for the filing.

If approved for STANKRUPTCY, SLAMMER_18 will be eligible for federal SMELLFARE benefits, as well as free soap, but must register on a Federal "B.O.List".

Known for his propensity to get on mic in rooms and call people "ASS CLOWNS", SALMMER_18 is one ASS CLOWN who should be sitting pretty in his own stink for a long long long time.



Ignoring repeated calls for "CHATROOM BITCHFIGHTS" im MAINSTREAM POLITICS by NOOOOGIE, the entire room preferred to enable a legion of trolls and psychos to totally ruin the room once again and devolve the discussion to a point where smart educated folks ended up pandering to the lowest common denominator in the internet world, the MICLESS PROVOCATEUR TROLL.

Bored with repetitive and unfulfilling discussions on JEWS, RELIGION, MUSLIMS, THE ECONOMY, SEMANITCS, HOW PEOPLE CANT HANDLE HEARING CERTAIN WORDS EVEN IN CONTEXT, and various other thwippery which attempted to pass as topics, NOOOOGIE pleaded with the room for some entertainment.

"Why not have some chatroom bitchfights?", NOOOOGIE said, suggesting " First round VIGILANT REASON VS FOX NEWS, second round "FLA LADY vs ENTIRE ROOM" third round "JUST A FEMALE VS ANYONE!"


Inspite of this hilarious idea, no one in the room decided to support the concept, choosing instead to let the room be ruled by morons with no microphones and no real thoughts of their own.

NOOOOGIE does plan on resuggesting the idea to DON KING, who has expressed interest in a pay per view broadcast of such fights in the future.



Still living on the desert island he was dumped on by PALTALK AUTHORITIES several weeks ago, BOBBY MC GEE now has a new pal in VIC FERRARI, who used a second hand swift boat to find the PALTALK island of exile and who has now moved in with BOBBY permanently, preferrring the sandy desert isle toPALTALK chatrooms.

FERRARI, who has been a PALTALK NOMAD for the last month or so, had been silently slinking down chatroom streets, dragging his stick with the tied up hanky full of his posessions behind him as he moped and looked for a place to rest his weary head. One night, FERRARI found an abandoned SWIFT BOAT from the 2000 elections floating in a PALTALK TOILET, and used it to look for the "LOST ISLAND OF PALTALK EXILES."

After several sexy encounters with pirates, sperm whales, and OTHER PIRATES a freshly bronzed and pierced ferrari arrived at the island , stepped off his boat, and walked into the arms of BOBBY MC GEE, when he was swept away in a torrent of ecstasy which undid years of previous racism, bigotry, and fear of erotic living in the tropics with a nude middle eastern guy. Sources say neither of the two has any intention of leaving what FERRARI now refers to in his own words as "The best ass I have ever had."

After some initial friction because of BOBBY's goatee, the two did hit it off after MC GEE shaved the goatee off with a propellor blade from vics boat, and VIC responded by making MC GEE a very nice bowl out of a coconut VIC hand carved himself.The two knit each other grass skirts and enjoyed manly love in the rough ocean surf each day and night, until BOBBY suggested they start a new PALTALK RESORT for the BANNED.

At latest reports, the two planned to begin construction of their new PALTALK RESORT, which will be called " CLUB RED" and cater paltalk racists, paltalk idiots, and paltalk assholes who need fun and sun and large things being shoved up their asses by MC GEE and FERRARI, PALTALKS newest entrepeneurs.

Details will be coming soon on PALTALK VACATION PACKAGES to the new resort.
M.B. 2005

Friday, November 18, 2005


In a comic twist which is hilarious, BRUTE LOGIC (noted INTERNET TROLL, FACT DISTORTER and LIE REPEATER) has dropped the evil laugh he had once incorporated into his act. After months of gargantuan failed efforts to lie on facts, distorting issues with cheap buzzwords or outright HANNITYisms or OREILLYisms, this 'diapered dimwit of distortion' has also dropped speaking as well, noting it makes his blood pressure rise and then his mommy has to take him to the hospital before he gets a diaper rash.

Known for raising ire by misrepresenting facts by taking them out of context or omitting pertinent details, then completely ignoring known facts provided by opponents proving him totally wrong, he is also known for his proclivity to shift focus from one issue to another totally unrelated issue when cornered like a cockroach by a people who knows FACTS like KAREN DANCES, LORD MERCIFUL VOO, KARL d AZ, or most all of the people in MAINSTREAM POLITICS.

Popular topics are CLINTONS PENIS, MINDLESS PRAISE OF TORTURE, WAR, and ADVOCATION OF BLIND OBEDIENCE TO A LEADER merely because the "LEADER" is " in office", the premise being the leader is always right and it is "anti american" to ever mention any criticisms of said "LEADER".

Other favorite subjects of BRUTE LOGIC include "DUMPSTER BABY DEMS", a phrase he pulls out when he is cornered, and what KLATLAP likes to call "BRUTE LOGIC RAPID FIRE SPEW MODE", which happens when BRUTE is really being whipped in a room by someone. BRUTE will call for backup, like ARCHIE for example. People in the room will decide they have had enough of him and he makes a desperate play for attention as they all start ignoring him. Sooner or later he realises no one is listening to him, because he stops seeing his name in text from anyone.

His latest tactic is to leave the room, which removes an ignore on PALTALK, then enter again spewing rapid fire! Then, he tries to make a final attempt for listeners or any attention by going to the mic and repeating a lot of ridiculous slogans and made up catch phrases like "DUMPSTER BABY DEMS", or "BUSH WON, GET OVER IT, YOU ARE LOSERS", sounding much like his head is close to popping. BRUTE is NOT a relaxed speaker, sounding as if he always has a bad cold, and is usually very agitated, using a tone of voice which doesnt just suggest "nyah nyah ne boo boo" but SCREAMS IT OUT while slpaaing you in the face with pure ILLOGIC.

Known also for his enthusiasm to "kiss ass" and "brown nose" his "higher ups" in the internet chatrooms where he frequents, he has long been associated with the "LOONEY RIGHT WING FRINGE ELEMENT" and are totally subservient to a legion of fanatical-religious-fundamentlist-republican" higher-ups" and they wait obediently for orders each day on what LYING POINTS to parrot. Other notable associates of BRUTE include his partner ARCHIE BUNKER, or NEO CON SUPER HEROES like HIGH FALUTIN, or SALT SPRING both of whom BRUTE has huge crushes on, tho I suspect it also makes him question his sexuality.

This person is a prime example of why some internet chatrooms feature an IGNORE function.

As a person who has suffered through the HALF TRUTHS , OUTRIGHT LIES and PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO SLOGANISE HALF TRUTHS AND OUTRIGHT LIES that BRUTE stands for during his daily 12 hour at a time visits to internet chatrooms, I heartily recommend all chatters use the ignore function to BOYCOTT this pathetic excuse for conversation. Failing to do so, and engaging this spewer of slogans always results in groans and wasted time as multitudes of people attempt to wade through long ago dissected arguements and relevant key facts which he has omitted to force others to fruitlessly waste time, rather than have any meaningful dialogue.

I suspect BRUTE is not so much of a REPUBLICAN as he is a ASSHOLE. If we were all republicans, he would present himself as a DEMOCRAT using opposite half truth based arguements, and it is my opinion his function is to WASTE TIME by enmiring you in FRUITLESS REPETITIVE ARGUEMENTS PREMISED ON COMPLETE LIES, SLOGANS from the G.O.P., and definately whatever BRUTE happened to see on FOX NEWS or the DRUDGE REPORT 15 minutes before he logged on.

Is BRUTE a PAID OPERATIVE working in internet chatrooms? I dont know, but if he was it would not surprise me one bit. As I have suggested before, if it is indeed so, BRUTE should ask his superiors for better writers at the least. I wonder how much he makes if it is indeed true? The sole purpose of BRUTE seems to be to DERAIL all pertinent discussion in rooms he enters, and he does it with relish and vigor, spewing out buzzphrase after buzzphrase as he ignores facts and kisses ass to all of his similary "politically retarded" conservative cronies, such as ass-kissing-conservative-lickspittle ARCHIE BUNKER, BRUTE's closest associate, and known ASSHOLE in internet chatrooms.

I suggest one would acomplish more (and have a more meaningful debate) after looking down into the toilet bowl after having voided and attempting to start a conversation with the resulting waste product than one would have by starting a conversation or even PAYING ATTENTION TO BRUTE LOGIC.. IF IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.....ITS PROBABLY SHIT! TRUST YOUR NOSE! IT KNOWS!

THIS WEEKS BOYCOTT IS BRUTE LOGIC! Congratulations! You win no attention! You WIN no typing! you win a BOYCOTT!

Listen up BRUTE.....I will now explain why you are worthy of no attention from any human being , especially in PALTALK chatrooms......

You, "sir" are a childlike twit who intentionally LIES and DISTORTS FACTS in a futile regular display of your tanacity at selectively presenting, distorting, and then ignoring relevant facts as you try to take attention from real issues by sloganising and outright LYING.

You, "sir", dont deserve the attention of good people.

KLATLAP's advice?

E V O L V E .


Show AT LEAST these two politically retarded reprobate morons you are simply tired of their never changing act and that you have given them your LAST MINUTE of time! Tell yourself you have MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO than engage someone who has allready wasted HOURS AND HOURS of your time in the past, and for WHAT? To come back and LIE and PLAY CHILDLIKE GAMES again another day, as if it had never happened?

The way to eliminate people like this from internet chatrooms is to LET THEM STAY and IGNORE THEM TOTALLY. When people unify and do this these types SOON LEAVE. When you give creedence to these types, it degenerates the discussions to a level near barnyard animals where it concerns politics. They are like CHILDREN SEEKING ATTENTION and when they DO NOT GET IT they LOSE INTEREST FAST. Usually within 10 minutes.

We must all admit that many conservative types are not really very smart, knowing little of politics besides what they have just seen on FOX NEWS or what BILL OREILLY might have just said. We must unify , and agree on all sides that these types are truly the COCKROACHES in our internet chatrooms, and only our dilligence at ignoring while allowing them free speech and a seat will drive them away.

When these two CLOWNS stop getting any attention, I predict they will soon tire of endlessly repeating old lies and distorting current truths with new or old solgans, and slink back to rooms which are suggestive of the old BUSH HQ room, where they belong. These types can only survive with your help. These types can only be dealt with as one would deal with a psychopath....would you have a conversation with a psychopath? How about a rabid dog? Maybe some babbling freak who has a G.O.P. dildo up thier ass? Like BRUTE LOGIC or his pal ARCHIE BUNKER?



CLUEPON courtesy of KLATLAP and is good all week for ARCHIE AND BRUTE!



This mission appeared to be a simple one. Infiltrate the enemy weakhold of SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX, and issue a detailed report on all enemy activity. The main problem was not in possibly being detected, but more the obnoxious stench we knew we would encounter. More that that , the rooms' awful mix of soft middle age, hopelessness, futility, and regret over lives not fulfilled , with the prospect of never being fulfilled blended with a heaping helping of arrogance and close mindedness made us remember to bring our ASS MASKS for safety, we knew it was gonna be knee deep in PALTALK ASSHOLES on this one!

We were dropped behind enemy lines and easily found our room, entering and taking a seat in back. We were not detected, and set up equipmet to detect intelligent life. no signs, only insensate vegetable matter, but we proceeded, having heard voices .


MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was the center of attention in the room for some reason..WHY? we would find out soon enough.

We listened....

NUTTYCR8ZY came to the mic and really let it fly at MOTHERS, dropping her pants and farting right in MOTHERS face. She said MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was ruining her chat experience and wanted her out of her room now or she would get up on cam in the room and do her impression of JIMMY DURANTE by sticking a zucchini up her ass.

HIGH FALUTIN ( Using an alias nic now registered in the PALTALK RACISTS DATABASE as "TARGET132") acts her role as she chides MOTHER BRULE SIOUX's daughter for turning into a porn star! (whats's up with that?) IN true arrogant racist bigot full of herself HIGH FALUTIN style which she is famous for on PALTALK as she spews her hateful ignorant virulence , she accused NORTHWEST of being ANTI AMERICAN , having seen him in MAINSTREAM POLITICS! ! ! !

BOAZ FRANKEL heard HIGH FALUTIN , woke up out of his coma and whipped out his huge tongue to give HIGH FALUTIN a quick lick, then XXLUANXX got up and asked MOTHERS about pasting her pms with her' online cyber hubby' into the room, proving that rooms run by BOAZ FRANKEL and STARLYIN are full of fat middle aged stay at home assholes who have nothing better to do but sit and either spill their guts in hopes of either free internet advice or sympathy or alternately pry into each others petty meaningless lives and then attack each other over petty personal gossip, who ratted out who, and so forth.

The discussion then turned to "who ratted out whom and was it a TOS violation", and the court of public opinion was on! But what was the story? Ratted out? hmmm. TOS violations? we dug in and crept closer to the enemy bunker, using our RATTLER HI FREQ NOISE FILTERS to get a super clear audio of this ongoing "court of PALTALK opinion".

"Throw her out! Throw her out!" NUTTYCR8ZY typed furiously while she rubbed her vibrator over her hard penis, moaning with delight at the prospect of having someone to yell things like "Fuck you, get out! You are DONE HERE!" at in her breathy low voice which sounded like she was either speaking with a PALTALK ARMY RADIO in her mouth or had taken more than her normal daily dose of TESTOSTERONE, We didnt ask, but we suspect both.

We were afraid to get too close for fear of being detected! These crazies can carry virulent diseases like "RED-DOTOSIS" or "BOOTSIES" which rapidly spread, destroying internet chat rooms in minutes. WE hung in back and made no movement as we observed....

ARCHIE BUNKER attended to all the ladies in the room, licking their feet and toes in a frenzy of hopefulness which once again did not pay off . ( Did you learn that toe licking foot worship thing from BRUTE LOGIC, ARCHIE? Let us know!) ARCHIE has had a hard run of luck in the other PALTALK chat rooms lately, and is making his new "nest" in a room full of close minded fucks just like himself! We know ARCHIE BUNKER will really enjoy his new pals, as he tries to forget the rooms he cannot enter without being subject to ridicule for his ridiculous beliefs and inability to do much more than repeat 4 or 5 word phrases he heard BILL OREILLY say minutes earlier. GOOD FOR YOU ARCHIE! We promise to make sure BRUTELOGIC shows up in your new home soon too!!! WHERE HE BELONGS!!!!! We hope you FINALLY see your PLACE, and STOP stinking up GOOD ROOMS !

Does ARCHIE BUNKER prove our theory that idiots and assholes have a specific gravitational pull which attracts other assholes at an increased rate, which must multiply as more and more assholes and morons assemble, eventually creating a BLACK HOLE OF INTELLECT which can suck in and swallow up all intelligent thought and replace it with FAT MIDDLE AGE WHITEBREAD ASSHOLES WHO LOVE TO GOSSIP!!!!!

NUTTYCR8ZY jumped up to the mic again and finally did her impression of JIMMY DURANTE by jamming a zucchini up her ass on CAM, to the delight of the entire room, who was almost getting tired of the COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION. SOMEONE CALL LETTERMAN! This woman has talent! CARNEGIE HALL anyone? NUTTYCR8ZY can play almost all brass and woodwind instruments USING ONLY HER ASS!!! RUMOR has it she learned her skill from SIR LUNCH A LOT who now can only weakly play the ASS BUGLE he calls speaking in MAINSTREAM POLITICS.

When OH DONNA AU asked in text why anyone cared about MOTHERs life, NUTTYCR8ZY replied by making OH DONNA AU the subject of the temporary court, threatening the new chatter with retribution from her friend who ran the room, STARLYIN, and rubbing her paltalk asshole badge until it shone like the sun.

STARLYIN stampeded from her stall, took the mic and demanded the MIC TEST of DONNA , who turned out to be GABBY (or ANGEL GRACIE) and was promptly bounced as soon as STARLYIN realised who it really was.

POLITICAL REALIST also got up on mic and was promptly booted out also, much to the delight of even this crap crowd! POLITICAL REALIST, dude, you are B O R I N G. CAPITAL "B". SHUT UP. It was the only" good" thing we witnessed in the room, The sound of POLITICAL REALIST PASSING GAS is probably preferable to him speaking, but to our surprise, both smell the same! LIKE POOP!! PEE YEW! Unfortunately POLITICAL REALIST had been trying to talk about MOTHERS, and STARLYIN booted him saying "I TOLD YOU NO MORE OF THIS INDIAN SHIT!" OHHH! TEMPER TEMPER!!! Someone send that lady some FUCKITOL!! PRONTO!!!

The mystery deepened. The smell worsened. Who had played recordings of MOTHERS, and what was it really all about? We didn't really care, but when THE RATTLER investigates, we deliver!

MOTHERS kept returning to the mic and kept trying to make herself and her obviously twisted life the subject of controversy in the room of people who amazingly suddenly, for a micro-second, appeared to have some normality when put in comparison to MOTHERS. But only for a micro-second, as we realised they all sorta belonged together in their lil playpen!

Then we got the scoop.

MOTHERS reported to PALTALK a person who was in the room "SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX". MOTHERS alleges this unnamed person allegedly violated PALTALK TOS by playing a recording of her in the chatroom without her permission.

NOW it all made sense to us, and we were glad, because we really hate this sort of mission.

The court was a TRIAL to get a CONFESSION from MOTHERS that she ratted out someone in the room who was a popular person, and therefore be able to assign blame to MOTHERS for expecting paltalk to hold up its own TOS, and place blame on MOTHERS as a PALTALK SNITCH!!!

NUTTYCR8ZY came up to the mic and goaded MOTHERS again, saying she was "Done . Finished, just go away, disapear, we are done talkin about ya. get the fuck out!" and then tying a cherry stem in a square knot with BOAZ FRANKELS limp tongue with movements so deft BOAZ didnt even wake up!

Who is mothers cyber hubby?

THE MYSTERY REMIANS...........Because MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was BOOTED OUT of SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX by an angry STARLYIN, who stood on her hind legs and ejected MOTHERS from the room, so the real fun could begin!

And the witty intellectual banter continued! Now it was time to bash on MOTHERS for being a PALTALK SNITCH!!!!! THE FUN WAS ON, the GLOVES WERE OFF!!!

"If you had to put up with MOTHERS in real life you would go for the pillow" STARLYIN said, coming remarkably close to advocating death of another! Lucky for her she gets the BLIND EYE treatment from PALTALK! She has Powerful friends! LOOK OUT!

Then the subect switched to how each person would "deal" with MOTHERS in their own "perfect world" scenario!

STARLYIN suggested a pitchfork, noting that she lives in the country.

KIBITZERS suggested thorazine and a car ride to the insane asylum.

NUTTYCR8ZY got back on cam and played "THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER" using only a trumpet she had stuck up her own ass, and the room quieted down a bit, happy to hear an old favorite, and happy to be all togetherr like a big happy dysfunctional family, to pry, chide, gloat, lord over, and brow beat each other in their own little PLAYPEN of sorts.

WE COULDNT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. WE FELT DIRTY. we bugged out and called for airlift home, and were picked up without incident. We did manage to get a picture of the PALTALK ARMY CONTROL CENTER, it is posted at the top. SCARY.

Other assorted quips from this room, attended by such intellectuals as XXLUANXX, JANNHERE, ANCIENT ALCHEMY, KABOOM, ICE-CRUSHER, DONT LOOK DOWN, MIZ MEEK, JUST ME MOLLY, POLITICAL REALIST, ARCHIE BUNKER, BOAZ FRANKEL, STARLYIN, NUTTYCR8ZY , and their pals...............

MIZ MEEK (To MOTHERS, discussing reservations) "Howmany jobs do you have? what do you do, sweep?"

STARLYIN "You registered your kid on the reservation for the free stuff."

ANCIENT ALCHEMY "The lesson here ..dont marry indians."

JANNHERE "That's 'indian math' for you! No indian shit here mothers, bye! heh heh!"

KABOOM "lol jan."


NOTE - we had to burn our uniforms, the stink would not come out.





Missing for almost 2 weeks now, when he was banned from MAINSTREAM POLITICS, VIC FERRARI, noted idiot and coward, is shown here at a local grocery store, on the back of a carton of milk .

The notice, which says "MISSING - VIC FERRARI - AGE 47", and shows a recent picture of FERRARI was meant not so much to seek information to FERRARI's wherabouts, but rather to WARN unsuspecting citizens of this looney righty on the loose. The notice is clearly labeled underneath with the phrase "DON'T CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU", underscoring the lack of concern to FERRARI's whereabouts.

The warning was added to the side of the milk carton after concerns about this depraved factless whining balding cuckolded VIC FERRARI were brought to the attention of the local dairy, who commented " Just one more dipstick to add to the list of dipsticks you should be gald you dont have to put up with, and a public service from us, your local dairy! DRINK MILK!"

The warnings will be placed on the next 5 million milk cartons the dairy produces, and a local skywriter is also donating a plane to help with the upcoming " BE AWARE OF COWARDLY LIARS ON PALTALK AWARENESS MONTH" which begins in december.

If you see FERRARI, be sure to totally ignore him, as he is a complete waste of time as well as an enormous coward.




IN a move which surprised no one, PALTALK HIGH COMMANDER COLONEL SALT SPRING today called the full compliment of "PAL TALK ARMY MUSLIM BASHING UNITS" to come on PALTALK and insinuate that MUSLIMS, or at the very least POOR BLACKS are wholly and solely responsible for rioting currently going on in FRANCE, and dutifully parroted the line he read earlier today on a right wing blog that " It has nothing to do with internal french policies and a current 50% unemployment rate, and has everything to do with MUSLIMS who want to cut off your head and take over the world and subjugate us all to sharia law."

In an offensive line which filled several PALTALK user-created chatrooms, PALTALK soldiers opened several rooms earlier this week in order more fully to bash on FRANCE and especially all MUSLIMS, who are always first to be blamed for everything by PALTALK RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS, PALTALK RACISTS, and PALTALK REPUBLICANS as the "official party line."
This change is notable for the fact that it blames FRENCH MUSLIMS specifically, and not ALL MUSLIMS IN THE WORLD, as usual.

Insinuation the rioting in France is solely the result of extremist muslims who want to steal your baby (and eat it) and chop off your head, the PALTALK army was defenseless against questions about the TRUE underlying cause for the unrest in france.

Citing a 50% unemployment rate in frence as the TRUE underlying cause of the ongoing fracas caused a severe break in the lines of MUSLIM BASHER offense, the PALTALK lip-service warriors of the 69th MUSLIM BLAMING UNIT were left speechless and furious, franticly googling for stories which used conjecture to imply the rioting in FRANCE was "only muslims", and especially "black muslims."

The PALTALK ARMY MUSLIM BASHING UNITS quickly set up trenches early this week in hopes of a full scale frontal assault on FRANCE, MUSLIMS, BLACKS, and LIBERALS in chatrooms such as "RIOTS IN FRANCE ! MUSLIMS BURN 1400 cars and more" , or " FRENCH RIOTS, DISCUSS IT HERE."

Commander of the PALTALK 69th Canadian volunteer reserve component, Colonel "SALT SPRING" or "SWORD OF THE AMISH" ( as he is also known) explained his strategy to a RATTLER REPORTER on the fringes of the battlefield.

"It's simple really", he said, explaining " I have no life, and I am also latently homosexual, and I also hate gay people, which in effect, means I hate myself. In order to live with this constant opposition inside myslelf, which makes me highly unstable, I decided to volunteer for the PALTALK MUSLIM BASHING UNIT because I am able to insinuate that MUSLIMS are to blame for anything that I am ordered to blame them for. I cannot name my superiors, that is top secret. Also I am good at blaming gays and blacks of any faith. I have over 3000 combat hours in chatrooms blaming MUSLIMS, and almost as much time logged kissing ass on subjects like why rendition is great, why torture is good, and why any fact i dont like i can simply ignore before i run away from discussions i started."

Known for his vast knowledge of right wing opinioneer- pundits, and the books they write to re enforce his fears, hatreds, and suspicions, Col. SALT SPRING suggested "Its GAY TOURIST AUSTRALIANS maybe that are rioting? Maybe GAY FRENCH BACKPACKERS? It's NOT MUSLIMS?" in MAINSTREAM POLITICS THIS MORNING.

"To say the muslims didnt start this riot is to have your head so far up your ass you could see Vancouver", SALT SPRING said. SALT SPRING then cited Vancouver was a place where whites are a minority, but a quick fact check showed that was a complete and total lie like most of what SALT SPRING says.

Sword then implied Jamaica has no culture and is mostly responsible for murders in Canada, noting "blacks kill blacks", and citing a cultural proclivity in blacks to kill each other . He then returned to Bashing muslims , and avoiding answering the simple question he had been asked repeatedly by the room host, LORD MERCIFUL VOO, amd many of its' occupants.

When asked by LORD MERCIFUL VOO repeatedly "How did you know overnight that MUSLIMS were solely responsible for the rioting in France", COL. SALT SPRING responded by ignoring the question , but eventually broke under extended chat room torture and confessed that he was ordered by "higher authorities" to say it.

SALT SPRING could not answer questions after that point, as he had to flee the room to avoid questions, as usual.

His stand in replacement, MEHICAN, (or as he is now called "MORTIE 2") was called in under fire from STARLYINS' room, but did not arrive in time to prevent a defeat, since everyone knows he is just a crony of SALT SPRING, and hangs with a bunch of brain dead dipshits that are ostracised and ridiculed in good rooms like MAINSTREAM POLITICS, preferring to hide in tyrannical "RED DOT TO ANY WHO DONT AGREE" type rooms such as " AMERICAN POLITICS" or "THAT FUCKIN ROOM OF GRUNTO THAT MORON", in the hopes someone might write their names in blogs.



After months of looking for new material , brute logic has decided to incorporate a self serving cackle into his act. Apparently the repetition of the same 20 key phrases over the last severa lyears has worn thin, and this laugh is designed to cover brutes insecurity, which it simply does not, making it hilarious. It is worty of not it is not as hilarious as vic ferrari with a bike horn, honking at the end of his mic time.One can only wonder what vics car must now look like with nno warning system on it. Also worthy of note, is the fact ferrari also incorporated the same evil cackle in his act lately, leading this reporter to surmise they republicans MUST LEARN FROM EACH OTHER! Hard as it is to believe, this reporter believes that republicans must learn from tv and other republicans, since like brute logic, none have much to say until someone else either A> tells them what to think, or B> says something they can say the opposite of . Since most republicans can eat, drink, use silverware, i must assume they CAN learn. So when will they admit bush lied to go into iraq?



Shown here in her new crown, JES SEADO relaxes with a cup of "wapatooie" , and watches "HEE-HAW" on TNN with her mother.

JES SEADO was awarded the crown at a local burger king, who also provided her with 8 whoppers, 5 large fries, and a gallon of fountain soda as long as she promised never to come to that particular burger king ever ever again.

The award, "the crown of total and everlasting stupidity", was awarded via proxy after a vote taken by editors of THE RATTLER. The award is given to the queen of all trolls on paltalk, nad next year, JES will maybe ( or maybe not) have to hand it down to another upwardly mobile troll of the female persuasion. It is worthy of note that the crown itself is not supplied by THE RATTLER, but was hand delivered by the guy who used to carry around that silver tray of peanut butter sandwiches for john kerry, he works cheap! THANKS peanut butter sandwich tray carryin' guy!

Known for her stupidity, JES SEADO likes to come on paltalk and play the part of a complete moron, insisting the USA would find wmds in Iraq, insisting the iraq war is good, insisting she has encouraged her 17 year old son ( who i really dont believe exists) toenlist to go to fight in Iraq, and defying all attempts to have any reasonable debate by repeating 5 or 6 key phrases over and over again until a room admin with sense stops her.

For my money, JES SEADO is probably not as dumb as she tries to appear. I suspect it is all an act. Act so stupid that good people will try to argue facts with you . This is called BAITING, and JES SEADO is a master of BAIT, do not be decieved! TAKE HER BAIT, and you are in for several hours of ridiculous and totally wasted effort . She has had no new arguements for almost 3 years, YET she is the center of attention in certain rooms, merely because there are always a few who are not wise to her game. Regardless of what anyone says to her.




CAUGHT unexpectedly while on break from his job kissing elephants asses in the local mellonville zoo, we can see DRILLER 50, local paltalk troll and known liar.
In his hand is a special handcrafted "hillbilly fart cannon" which has just been ignited.

Made with old beer cans, taped end to end, and filled with the users own flatus, which is lit with a match , producing a spectacular explosion.

The "hillbilly fart cannon" has been passed down from hillbilly father to hillbilly son for years, and has been a source of entertainment, a means to trim long beards and body hair, and also served as a means of hunting food for generations. For hunting, the user simply loads old nails, or his own dentures into the cannon as a projectile.

It appears DRILLER 50 has swallowed his dentures in this picture, a consequence of igniting strong whiskey based methane , which can produce massive explosions, and is a common fuel source amongst the hillbillies in Driller 50s' family.



STANGS SWANG, local paltalk redneck, liar, and redneck, finally was able to cash in enough empty cases of beer bottles to get his vehicle out of the police impound in the biloxi mississippi impound lot where it has been sitting for the past 3 years.

In a great turn of events for swang, he now has a vehicle to drive to the liqour store, nudie bars, and use to run over mailboxes after he has been drinking all night long.

The vehicle, a specialty built unit hand crafted by stang himself, is known as "the honky donkey cracker attacker", and apparently runs on a new type of bio diesel involving human waste, which is fed into the car through the hole in the drivers seat. If you see this vehicle coming at you , be sure to swerve out of its way! cause like the driver, its FULL OF SHIT!



Caught here by KLATLAP SECRET AGENTS ( who are everywhere) is a multi-role aircraft of the PALTALK AIR FORCE, the "FLYING BRUTE LOGIC".

Used for mostly flying a lot of dicks around and airdropping them into internet chatrooms, it is also able to be fitted with a 5 thousand pound "heat seeking moisture missile" which can plow through enemy defenses and cover entire chat lobbies in thick white goo, known as "CONSERVATISM". In many cases this missile will go off prematurely, in which case the entire crew flushes itself down the aircraft toilet which takes them back to the SOCIAL ISSUES LOBBY of PALTALK.

Fitted with state of the art systems such as "Automatic lie lot", "GAYDAR" and "head up ass direction finding" the plane allows internet and e-mails, satelite t.v. , and also has a mobile command and "control center" with a full set of whips, chains, thumbscrews and a lovely pink heart shaped bed that plays "dixie" when it is laid upon.

A vintage 1980's nintendo is on board for important staff meetings. A full rack for torture is also on board at all times, and the plane can be fitted out to carry P.T.A. troops when the aircraft is not full of its usual cargo of shit.

Cows, sheep, pigs, rats, or other conservatives like FLA LADY ,KENTUCKY LADY, BRUTE LOGIC , ONE CONSERVATIVE GUY, DRLLER 50, DR CLEAN, SOUR MAN OF COAL, SALT SPRING, MEHICAN, CRABFISHERMAN, ARCHIE BUNKER, UNCLE BOB, VIRGINIA 1776, or STARLYIN can be loaded up and airdropped into internet chatrooms from the plane for important recon missions. It is important to note that when FLA LADY is onboard, no one else can fly, since she takes up all the space onboard.

The aircraft was pressed to the limits of its endurance today when it was needed to hurriedly ferry desperate conservatives away from,areas with news coverage , and back to the safety of their G.O.P. "blankies" and "BUSH ASS PACIFIERS".

Hundreds of desperate conservatives clutching fried chicken and wet naps jammed local PALTALK AIRPORTS in the SOCIAL ISSUES LOBBY in a desperate attempt to flee the carnage of another day of PALTALK DEFEATS and BAD NEWS FOR BUSH. ( also DEM FORCES TOOK THE CONFEDERATE CAPITOL, VIRGINIA!)


IF YOU SEE THIS AIRCRAFT WARN LOCAL AUTHORITIES......IT means a lot of DICKS will be dropping in!




Today is the official holiday to remember the destruction of the former "BUSH H.Q." from PALTALK, approximately a year ago today.

Once a bastion of hateful racists, homophobes, race baiters, woman haters, lie-loving-scum-sucking war-mongering violence-against- people-advocating-death cheering apocalypse welcoming wrong thinking butt kissing pedantic low grade muslim blaming assholes, it was DESTROYED by FRIENDLY FIRE as the PALTALK HIGH COMMAND was forced to REMOVE IT COMPLETELY FROM THE WORLD as if to demonstrate they would only allow other rooms to advocate the blaming of the worlds problems on all muslims, but not that particular one any more.

Many slick hate mongers who comprised the general audienceand administration in this particular room were left without a place to hang out when paltalk blew it off the map , and eventually the same admins who ran it just opened new rooms with titles like "MUHAMMEDANS: Ur Jihad Stops NOW US/ISRAEL United" ( current population - (62),
or "~Islam Destroying Islam~They dont Need any Help`" (current population (10) ,
as well as other various rooms which seem to come and go like OSAMA BIN LADENS TERROR CELLS , popping up and crawling back into their various holes.

Usually driven back to rooms of their own creation by the massive rejections of their advocated hatreds, misunderstanding, fear, and disdain for policies in these "bunkers of boneheadedness" which mandate RED DOTTING and BOOTING to ANYONE who does not espouse the attitude supported by the room owners, who are all gutless hate mongers who cannot stand up to real debate in a free forum ever, and must control discussion entirely to maintain popularity and maybe get mentioned in a SHITRAG like THE TATTLER, which is reportedly now working deep in caves near the PALTALK's southern border, and cannot always get on the internet to publish their GOSSIP JACK OFF RAG.

PALTALK ARMY REGULARS such as SALT SPRING, FHOTO, CHRISTIAN PRINCE, MORTIE 2, and CRABFISHERMAN and their cronies and bootlickers are now no longer bound to one room, andmany have been recruited or voluntarily enlisted with the PALTALK SPECIAL AIRBORNE FORCES to drop into chat rooms after their friends MOSES KNOWS, DRILLER 50, VIC FERRARI, DR CLEAN, FLA LADY, THE CITIZEN, ALEXAVIER, ONE CONSERVATIVE GUY, CHAPPY, DR JECKLE, BOAZ FRANKEL, and such other vanity-based idiot- liar-spew-monger- types have been run out of MAINSTREAM POLITICS and go crying back to their "friends" ( who we have witnessed turn like rabid sharks on each other many times in a feeding frenxy) ( ha ha ) who then, in turn, call PALTALK HIGH COMMAND to order airborne reenforcements to be brought in by land, sea or air. CALL IN AN UNFAIRSTRIKE !!! HA HA

The ongoing campaign includes dissemenation of semen into each other, and has been going very well, but earlier this morning PALTALK HIGH COMMAND announced it was initiating "SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TORTURE" or "S.H.I.T." in all occupied territories. Airdrops of stupid jerks are planned all day on PALTALK SOCIAL ISSUES ROOMS, and an invasion will be mounted as soon as REPUBLICANS come out of the HOLES they ran to HIDE IN when the DEMOCRATS WON VIRGINIA AND NEW JERSEY yesterday. ( Perhaps the same holes they dug when LIBBY went down? Or DELAY? hahaha . KEEP DIGGIN FUCKERS! KEEP DIGGIN!)


BYE BYE BUSH H.Q......You really sucked shit. WE DONT MISS YOU ONE BIT!!!


In related news, DRILLER 50 was repulsed in MAINSTREAM POLITICS early today when he was informed he was using an arguement from several days back, by ISABELLAH ONE ( the only female general in the PALTALK ARMY) which was allready exposed in this publication, causing him to eventually throw down his " YOU GUYS LOVE NAMBLA" sign and run off to his own lines once more, in what has become a regualr and hilarious occurance on PALTALK.

Witnesses to the battle say liberal forces continued with breakfast unphased as a few well placed shots by RATTLER SNIPERS took out DRILLER 50 by shooting links to the discreditedarguement story into his face, casuing him to choke on his corn nuts and flee the battlefield, yelling "WHY DONT YOU GET JOBS WITH THE A.C.L.U. ??!"

In response, a RATTLER THINK TANK unit on the front line fired an "A.C.L.U" or "Anti-conservative-Loser-Unpantser" at COMMANDER DRILLER, thouroghly un-pantsing and slapping his narrow little pink ass with the U.S. constitution, provoking the flattened and pants-less DRILLER50 to exclaim "SHEEYIT! STOP IT! YALLS KNOW AH CAINT REED!" as he called in totally ineffective PALTALK ARMY FIELD FARTILLERY and was then was picked up by a PALTALK BATTLEFIELD WHAAAAMBULANCE he radioed for. DRILLER then was flown back to his mommys basement, where his command post also is.

Take a minute and remeber the destruction of BUSH H.Q. , and remember even tho the room is gone, blown up by FIRENDLY FIRE after a MASSIVE HATE MONGER FEEDING FRENZY, the essence still remains in the hearts of many, and this is where the fight we fight truly is.

Tak a moment to stop by and pee on the ruins, as this site will soon be turned into the PALTALK DIARRHEA GARDENS, to forever commemorate the legacy left by BUSH H.Q.

That, and also no one could remove the shit smell anyway , so it was a logical choice.

M.B. 2005

Art by M.B. 2005


Pictured here right before his midday changing, local paltalk asskiss and troll PUNKNAILER, one of VIC FERRARIS alternate nicknames, came into mainstream politics and threatened this publication to immediately cease and desist in mentioning himself or his associates : THECITIZEN, and of course, VIC FERRARI.

In a litany of expletives likely heard from his alcoholic parents, this non entity expressed indignation anyone would dare to laugh at his stupid bullshit, and as usual, refused all attempts to bring him to an open mic to speak.

KLATLAP has discovered why PUNKNAILER cannot speak in mainstream politics , most obviously his age ( estimated at 18 months) but more importantly, the fact that his front teeth are so distended it makes it very painful for him to speak, relegating him to a keyboard for all of his communications. Sources say PUNKNAILER is able to whine loudly when he wets himself, sees Tom delay being booked , is challenged by anyone, or simply wants a "ba ba", or his "binky".

KLATLAP wants to assure its readership that as long as republicans act like assholes, KLATLAP will bring you the hard facts . FURTHERMORE, we wish to thank all of the conservatives who make our jobs so much easier, as all we really have to do is watch.



Called up by the U.S. Army for duty in Iraq, PALTALK regular TWEETLE DEE is shown here at his new post, "rear gunner".

Demoted to the rank of Private last spring, when his special project for the PENTAGON to bore people into submission in internet chat rooms failed to provide adequate results and also later scandalised the PENTAGON in a probe of missing funds, reportedly spent on "off base hookers" and "bar tabs". Private TWEETLE DEE sure seems ready for duty!

Due to be posted in Iraq soon, TWEEDLE DEE commented "Bring them on!", and begged passers by for body armor.



Editorialist, Artist, and self described "BLOG PIMP" NOOOOGIE was banned from from the chat application PALTALK for one hour , at approximately 5:21 pm central standard time today.


I log on at 4 pm to find this -

"Paltalk Notifier: <<(11/08/05 1:28 PM EST)>> Do NOT threaten nor advocate violence"

When did I? When I suggested that some people are so unevolved they belonged in cages eating dog food and should rather evolve into something more human and stop supporting torture policies? Torture policies were what i had been discussing for an hour previously...

GEE, wouldnt it be A TOS VIOLATION TO ANYONE WHO SUPPORTED TORTURE?HMMMMMMMMMMM. I would think I was in the ballpark of legit when I disparage torture. GO FIGURE!!!

Lest us review so far.....

1 - Gee, im NOT sorry I advocate people NOT BEING TORTURED. GET OVER IT.

2 - IM SORRY FOR YOU if YOU have not seen the LIGHT yet on how TORTURE IS WRONG!


I go into MAINSTREAM POLITICS. I am discussing the little notice I got , when BEAR IN CHAIR types this

bearinachair: gary4news sent you that love

then THIS

bearinachair: they are gonna ban you nooogie

and THIS

bearinachair: i'm gonna tell gary

Then, I began discussing how what I see are hate rooms comprise some very popular rooms on paltalk, and expounding on how I am not obligated to like anyone at all, naming NO ONE . The sentiment was brought up by DARI, who said us talking about using illegal weapons in Fallujah was a nice change from the room she came from , where the room was basicly a muslim bashing fest, and that was totally o.k..

I and many others in the room agreed we felt particularly sickened by those rooms, but them existing validated free speech. By allowing them to speak we may decide we do not like what they say and choose not to listen. But they have the right to speak and express their views.

But not for some....

I'm speaking and i get this

"This is a warning. If you receive several of these warnings you risk suspension of some or all Paltalk services to your account."

I keep speaking......I speak about how i am not obligated to like anyone at all, and i wish no one ESPECIALLY GARY FOR NEWS any harm. In FACT - I WISHED HIM A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE. FACT.

I have the right to free speech and advocated harm to no one. Apparently some big babies with power dont like certain opinions. I mention the FACT much of PALTALK REVENUE comes from people who want SEX CAMERAS in chatrooms, so they can have ADULT FUN???. Is this fact untrue? ????

I will print a FULL public retraction if it is not. I assert it is , indeed TRUE.

Then i get this

"Do not disparage this program nor its representatives
This is a warning. If you receive several of these warnings you risk suspension of some or all Paltalk services to your account."

I mention how I have other ways of expressing myself, and neither BEAR IN CHAIR or any of his ass licking cronies will stop me from doing so...

I type in

Noooogie: gary for news is a jealous little faggot

Noooogie: lol

Noooogie: muah hahahah


Noooogie: he can kiss my ass all day and night

Noooogie: free speech

THEN this

bearinachair: bill did you copy that text....?



"You are getting a one hour time out for disparaging paltalk and its representatives after having been warned"

PALTALK shuts down like a '74 ford that just blew a rod, oil spraying up on the windshield, as I roll to a stop in the ditch. I turn the key and all I get is


"This account has been used inappropriately and is currently disabled (tc- 9719)"
I laughed my ass off.


Who needs more proof who is a little asskissing asshole who is probably taking notes on you?
BEAR IN CHAIR , well....Lets just say i wouldnt put it past him.

GARY 4 NEWS? Look, pal. If you cannot handle someone telling you they might not like you , you really need to get a grip, period. Grow up.

In my time on paltalk I have been called a terrorist, an anti american, a communist, a nazi, a faggot, and any other expletive or slur you might care to name. I guess I have learned to laugh it off as I realise some people are threatened by the opinions of others, and will grab for any blunt object nearby to illustrate how afraid they are. Race hate, religion hate, whatever. All the same to me..

PALTALK ALLOWS every fucker under the sun to disparage ME DAILY as I speak about what I believe in, and THAT seems ok. See, fact is, i can TAKE IT, I am a GROWN UP, and your OPINION DOESNT THREATEN ME ..

------------------------DOES MINE THREATEN YOU??-----------------------------



This set of enemy uniforms were found at a local DOLLAR STORE, and are exact replicas of the ones worn by real P.T.A. soldiers.

Shown here are two examples of the uniforms from the


( known as "The F.U.C.K.E.R.S.") , and shows the markings of two of the" F.U.C.K.E.R.S. " unit commanders, FHOTO, and BEAR IN CHAIR.

The camoflauge enemy uniform sets are made of only the finest moisture- resistant vinyl, and include a working" P.T.A. style replica radio", a "crap bomb", a"non working compass", a" shiny badge to let everyone know how important you are", and also includes an official "Waaaaaaaaahmbulance Drivers License". The uniforms are labelled on the reverse with large block letters 10 inches high reading "F.U.C.K.E.R.S.", and the bag also doubles as a toy for conservative children who never see their P.T.A. parents who are far away fighting an internet war.

The package is standard issue to the troops of the P.T.A., and many P.T.A. troops try to get as many "P.T.A. radios" as they can, creating a severe shortage of radios in PTA units during recent battles on PALTALK, which has led to major defeats on the internet battlefield due to diminished or reduced communications ability. The radios reportedly pose a choking hazard to the P.T.A. troops since they must be fully inserted into the mouth to function correctly. In fact this has not even phased new recruits or even veteran P.T.A. warriors such as COMMANDER SALT SPRING who is known to regularly talk on 3 or even 4 of the radios at one time during heated internet battles. The "P.T.A. RADIO" is the biggest tool of P.T.A. forces, and is used to call in UNFAIRSTRIKES, COPY AND PASTE TEXT, BLOCK LINKS IN CHATROOMS WHICH MENTION PHOTO, TATTLE, CALL FOR BACKUP, and also listen to BILL OREILLY.

Without the "P.T.A. RADIO" most P.T.A. TROOPS are rendered ineffectual , unable to even speak, not to mention come up with original ideas.


***FUCK YOU BOATS from the KLATLAP NAVAL FLEET were able to severly disrupt ememy communications , sinking 3 P.T.A. POOPSHIPS , and damaging a SCARECRAFT CARRIER late last night on PALTALK, throwing the enemy high command into a frenzy of activity which proved later to be utterly futile.

*** Advancing P.T.A. troops carrying PFLEGM THROWERS were rendered useless when they entered the MAINSTREAM POLITICS room and became covered in "FRIENDLY FIRE" slime which came from BRUTE LOGIC, and COMMANDER SALT SPRING, forcing an involuntary retreat back to the HATE MUSLIMS ROOM they all came from.

***KLATLAP INTEL reports say that ENEMY OPERATIVE THE CITIZEN was captured last night by KLATLAP SPECIAL FORCES posing as sultry fat republican grandmas, an ongoing operation which never fails to snare entire P.T.A. brigades with the lure of elderly conservative grandma cow love. Vast hordes of fat republican grandma lovin' P.T.A. FOOTSOLDIERS have fled the scene of battle after being caught with pants down, causing extremely low morale in allready devestated and strained units of the P.T.A..

***Enemy attacks on the Capitol of NOOGIELAND forced a hasty retreat of COMMANDER DOBBS, who retaliated by using his overwhelming creativity to totally fuck up 2 more "F.U.C.K.E.R.S." of the P.T.A. , in a hilarious tactical victory for the KLATLAP UNIFIED FORCES. COMMANDER DOBBS did not retreat from the battlefield, but said " NO ONE will provoke ME with IMPUNITY!" and immediately went back to rattling cages.



In an unexpected windfall for comedy writers at this publication, a new treasure trove of republican comedy gold was discovered today by this publication. We sincerely hope no other big name outlets get the jump on some of the new "rising stars" of the republican comedy world that KLATLAP has discovered on paltalk.

The newest young star, "thecitizen" is pure comedy gold! Tonite in mainstream politics, he attempted to explain the absence of paltalk liar and republican VIC FERRARI, notably absent since early this morning in what authorities suspect was an attempt to remove himself while appearing to be censored by liberals, to avoid any criticism of himself from the scores of people who have had to listen to him whine for weeks about how "Delay is innocent , and the whole case is a lefty looney liberal plot." "thecitizen" most notably appears when vic ferrari is in the room, and in a never ending torrent of asslicking, attempts to make it seem as if someone else is on the same side of issues as vic is. Unfortunately for vic, he is all too often on the "wrong side " of issues. Like Tom Delay. (ha ha ha ) "the citizen" is also notable for his remarkable ability to spit forth homophobic insults while he attempts to un emasculate himself after being offered free speech in a room which supports free speech, always after anyone asks him to speak.

"thecitizen" , or as he is known to everyone else - "VIC FERRARI ON ANOTHER PC"- was very vocal in his criticism of persons who publish this blog. In the interest of public service , we will now republish excerpts from the mainstream politics room for your comedy enjoyment.

thecitizen: NOGGIE..BLOWCHIE
Noooogie: hey vic lets hear ya pal lol!
Noooogie: come on up!
Noooogie: tom delay perp walked, i win hahahahah
bayarea1979: tom delay has a warrant out for his arrest
Noooogie: yer gonna have to try harder to make me mad. try a different approach maybe. ill wait
Noooogie: vic , vic, vic, sigh.
Noooogie: you bore me man. are you so pissed today you cant think of anything better?
Noooogie: ill wait. try again
thecitizen: FUCKTARD
Noooogie: that is my word
Noooogie: try again
Noooogie: think up one
thecitizen: FUCKTARD
Noooogie: hey shitizen vic? u read much? read this asshole
Noooogie: calling all cars
Noooogie: calling all cars
Noooogie: all available units respond to report of republican fugitive . male, white, DELAY , THOMAS
Noooogie: last seen in stolen car headed for mexican border
Jesus Claus: hahahaha
Noooogie: vic sounds a tad upset, anyone think?
Noooogie: i can feel his pain today
Jesus Claus: i must admit, gay bath house, that's comedy gold
sleeping_4: delay did something worse then doing a shemale in the white house
Jesus Claus: citizen, did you have a particular gay bath house in mind?
Noooogie: hahahahahahha
ooMOXoo: lol
Noooogie: hes tryin to get me to meet him
CGforever: hahaha funny how inbred vic isn't here today
Noooogie: i hear about predators on the net man!
CGforever: mr.delay got a boo boo
Jesus Claus: pwned
CGforever: tom degay got an ARREST WARRENT
Noooogie: id shut up now shitivic
CGforever: Great day
Noooogie: while you are only so far behind
Noooogie: but you got the shovel man, keep diggin!
CGforever: delay/degay ^
Noooogie: ill watch
bayarea1979: tom delay *served*
Noooogie: perp walk
Noooogie: hhahahahah
sleeping_4: to bad delay will be happy when he get thrown in a "pound me in the ass prison"

It is worthy of note that no "pimp, slut, commie lover cock sucker thief burglar / member of the republican party" did attempt to detain me far.... BUT I have my eyes open, so dont try anything funny. Im watchin you. that is right , YOU . NO, not you , further back, like 40 rows back. not YOU , further back yet, to the right. not you , you . YEAH ! YOU ! the guy with the red tie. IM WATCHIN YOU !



IN a ground breaking move which has shocked PALTALK Republican hardliners, many previously G.O.P. faithful have formed the new "PALTALK RENEGADE ARMY" (a few members of which are shown above) and are now offering services posting slogans in internet chat rooms, on a per hour basis, for anyone who will give them "hard cash money".Many of the same republicans were rumored to have been 'cut off' from republican money sources that have paid them to spew propoganda on the internet for years, but recently dried up as fast thinking republicans foresaw the doom and emptied offshore accounts.

This bright group of entrepeneurs, (a word they resent because , as BRUTELOGIC explained, "It's French!") saw the light of opportunity and decided to subcontract themselves to anyone with money, on an individual basis or as a package deal which includes up to 4 republicans (the entire "Army") and the repetition of any phrases desired by the contractor.

Needing cash to eat and pay bills, the last thing whacky gun totin' bible kissin' shit kickin' beer drinkin' bush lovin' retards like VIC FERRARI, THECITIZEN, DRILLER50, RICESKI, CONSERVATIVE ATHIEST, ARCHIE SPELUNKER, or BRUTE LOGIC need is to be fired from their important "work at home " jobs at a critical time, lest they be labelled "poor" by thier contemporaries. Anyone can now hire one for 2 dollars an hour, or get all 4 for 3 dollars an hour in their new introductory special.

Rumors say PFIZER is looking to use them to market a new G.O.P. themed impotence cure, to be rolled out in november , and might pay as much as 8 dollars for the new group, who may be featured in national advertisments soon. Other offers not yet refused are a contract with the gay and lesbian visibility alliance news, a leading gay rights group, as well as several requests from NAMBLA to meet in person, and at least 5 offers from White House correspondent Jeff Gannon to "do lunch sometime."

No comment so far from the PALTALK RENEGADE ARMY on how thier mud runner trucks , jugs of moonshine, hound dogs, or double barreled shotguns full of nails and rocksalt would be an effective force on the internet, although specualtion is that the group may soon do a project in Los Angeles California with noted porn stars Paris Hilton and John Holmes, to be entitled " G.O.P. '04, the buttfucking". If the deal goes through, this will be Holmes first return to man on man action in over 15 years, and a legion of fans are eager to see him in action plugging the behinds of those who truly deserve it, REPUBLICANS.





Not surprisingly, the vast multitude of rabid conservatives , many of whom have been implying all week long " nothing is gonna happen on Friday you stupid lib commie looney lefty pinko castro lovers." were not seen on PALTALK today, likely preferring to hide in dark basements, crying into towels, and pretending today had never come. Today is a TURNING POINT for AMERICA! And they hide , like the cockroaches they real surprise...

Over and over we heard it from them like the little yap dogs they are. Over and over. "nothing is gonna happen! YOU'LL SEE!" they told us. Where are you conservative Bush kissing losers now? Why do you always run like scared rats when you end up WRONG? THE RATTLER knows why. You are disingenuous liars for a corrupt administration even you cannot defend or predict. Yet we can predict, and we were right today. Tally the book.

Today, Friday, Vice Predisent Dick Cheneys' top man, "Scooter" Libby, was indicted on 5 counts including obstruction of justice, and not surprisingly, none of the PALTALK conservatives who had been crowing all week about how "nothing was gonna happen"was online.

Resigning shortly after his 5 counts were made public today, it is of note that President Bush did not "fire the leaker", as previously promised, once again allowing a bush administration official to resign with no presidential oversignt at all. This tactic has become a hallmark of the Bush administration, most notably with bush appointee Brown , former head of F.E.M.A. during recent hurricana Katrina.

In what T.V. political kno- it-alls' are calling "only the tip of the iceberg", the grand jury has been extended an unprecedented 6 months, indicating it may well be possible for further indictments or charges to be levied against other Bush administration officials, most likely KARL ROVE or DICK CHENEY. Many believed the grand jury would be dismissed, or a new grand jury would convene, delaying the matter up to two years.



NOW tell us what is Mr. Libbys' job title ? What was it yesterday? Did Libby RESIGN, or STEP DOWN, like indictee TOM DELAY? We await your answers, since we really need a few extra laughs on the first day of Fristmas!

As tension in the Bush administration mounts, a black cloud of disgrace has formed above the White House, and the masses eagerly await administration officials' statements about clintons' penis, 911, and how all indictments are really just "angry dems with an agenda", and have nothing to do with compromising national security to make a case based on known lies to take the nation into a war and occupation of Iraq.

Still not off the hook yet is KARL ROVE, who reportedly is assembling a legal team to aid in his possible defense later down the line, and Dick Cheney, who looked like he was crapping his pants on T.V. today as he tried to shift focus early this morning from the awaited Fitzgerald indictments by speaking about college football and 911.



Shown here shortly after they left paltalk late thursady night , local PALTALK elite morons BRUTE LOGIC (left) and ARCHIE BUNKER (right) embrace in the type of way only two people who are really in love can share.

Immediately preceeding the love embrace the happy couple consumed of a bottle of tequila, and announced to the world on PALTALK that they were "shackin' up" until further notice.

Long Known as that irritating asshole with the buzzword arguements who rarely speaks , prefering to act as BRUTE LOGICS' lickspittle, ARCHIE BUNKER refused comment , but his new live-in lover, BRUTE LOGIC commented "I'm as horny as Kansas in august, hot as the sun on the fourth of July, and i cant help when i think to myself, im in LOVE with a wonderful guy!" before he drifted back into an alcohol induced stupor.

Until either gets a job, the couple plan to stay in BRUTE LOGICs' MOMs' basement, merely by adding an extra inflatable bed.



Vic Ferrari, local laughing-stock (pictured here immediately after his banning from mainstream politics) was banned from the only good room on paltalk eary yesterday morning, in what our sources confirm was likely a" self inflicted wound designed to give vic a plausible excuse for not being able to face his critics in the continuing Tom Delay proceedings." The unnamed source continued , explaining "look, its not hard to understand. this guy vic, well, hes......hes.... well, hes fuckin stupid, has no clue, and cant really do much but oscillate his voice and honk his little tricycle horn. are you surprised he copped out? Look, he knew he was gonna eat it on this Delay deal. So he took the easy way out. Vic has done this before. He will do it again. Like I did his wife , the first one. hah. Oh yean, and so did all my buddies.hah ."

Apparently banned for " drive by spewing" , ferrari is not expected to be returning to mainstream politics for at least one more day.

"Drive by spewing " is a technique where an antagonist enters a room, says obnoxious things designed to get attention, or loudly uses totally erroneous facts and rhetoric merely to provoke debate, then runs away without listening to the replies of those goaded . This publication is not certain yet how " drive by spewing" is any different than "micless trolling" , "sit and shit", "drink and lie and hide and not speak", or "park and ride", but we will keep you posted.



In a heartfelt outpouring of compassion and empathy, local self righteous skank FLA LADY described her new "CONSERVATIVE DISASTER SURVIVAL KIT", exactly the same as the one she used to get her family through the Katrina disaster.

The "CONSERVATIVE SURVIVAL KIT" as it is known , was purchased at a local Fried chicken franchise, and includes enough food and supplies to get a typical conservative family of 3 through important disasters they happen to be watching on television.

Fla Lady herself relied on the sustenence , nutrition and supplies in this "conservative survival kit" as she watched T.V. news and complained about "black people stealing plasma T.V. sets", and " elderly people who were not 'smart enough' to point their wheelvchairs and oxygen tents away from the disaster and start walking" during the recent hurricanes on the American Gulf coast. "it gets so tiring, yelling at the tv to those stupid disaster victims who couldnt help themselves." FLA LADY commented, noting "That chicken is damn good , too. I like the chicken fat best. No one does it like that local fried chicken franchise. All those stupid victims had to do was go buy some chicken, you can't tell me they don't have chicken down south. Did the think that president Bush would deliver the chicken to them if they stayed?"

"It's up to people to help themselves, the U.S. government and other agencies like F.E.M.A. are not first responders, and Bush is not to Blame!" FLA LADY quipped, adding, "Any person can go right out and get some disaster supplies, like I did. There is no excuse for not being prepared. If anyone went unaided in the recent disasters on our nations' gulf coast, it is simply their own fault for not preparing properly."

When informed that F.E.M.A was actually the designated first responder, FLA LADY responded by remarking " I give more to charity than most people make in a year."

The survival kit can be purchased at local fried chicken franchises and includes 10 pieces of mixed chicken in choice of coatings, 2 large fountain beverages, 2 large sides, 4 dinner rolls, plus assorted condiments and napkins. Wet naps are included at no extra charge.

Local chicken franchise owners met earlier today to plan ahead for what they predict to be a "Torrent" of the kits being purchased after friday, when indictments are likely aganst high level White House staffers, and have ordered extra chicken, breading, rolls, and wet naps to handle the expected deluge of conservatives seeking the survival kits over the next weekend.

"Our only regret is we cannot legally sell liquor, or we would for sure make a killing monetarily." commented a local chicken franchiser.

M.B. from


Local psychotic paltalk resident, FHOTO, (seen here) was stopped on his way to work at paltalk, where he is employed as a janitor in charge of cleaning up the womens bathrooms.

After being stopped by police for improper use of a turn signal, FHOTO was later booked into new jersey jail on charges of driving without a license, masturbating while driving, drinking while driving, talking on a cell phone while driving, and not carrying insurance. Later charges of contributing to the ignorance of large groups by his presence, carrying concealed spy microphones, and also being a general suckass were added to his rap sheet by a judge who happens to hate suckass type people . This same judge later denied bail for FHOTO, sending him to juvenile hall, where he will recieve psychoanalysis pending his trial, which is currently not scheduled.



Brute logic, local paltalk resident , has been offered the opportunity to respond to anything he likes to in the space provided to him below. He is welcome and has been personally invited by me to come here and post any type of criticism, praise, or other he likes. I feel it might help his twisted and tortured soul. Bring it on, Brutey. Bring it on!

KLATLAP will leave this space in particular for Brute logic to respond in any way , shape or form to this publication. Lets see what happens. Do you think he will actually post anything worth reading? Personally, i think he has not the guts, nor the brains to take on KLATLAP.

Archie Bunker, brute logics' topman and agent , is pictured above holding the sign they both wrote in response , displaying the level of intellect we are facing here .

Watch out brutey! you might get bit, and not by Archie Bunker! BY YOUR OWN STUPIDITY !!


"DR." CLEAN praises self, wife, says no hunger or poverty exists in U.S.A

In a touching monologue, punctuated by heartfelt self praise, condescention, and self love, Dr. Clean tonite explained how he "moved on up" from an olds cutlass sierra vintage 1965, to a de luxe house in the white burbs, where he can neither see nor hear the cries of the poor .

In his lengthy monologue, clean outlined how he is a great guy for allegedly providing work to some people, how his wife is beautiful, and implied all persons should envy his large sucess. His monologue continued , as he spoke of how he had nothing at one time in his life, then moved up from hard work. Then , in typical neo con style, he blew it all by sharing with the room the fact that he only "moved up" because of a wealthy aunts demise and her will , showing again most republicans are just like you and I , until someone hands them something they never worked for. then they can pretend they are better, and also, they blow their own bullshit stories all too often, which is HILARIOUS!!

This is exactly the sort of self aggrandising shit we can all live without. people who are so out of touch with the real world they think there is no hunger, no poverty, no strife.

Dr Clean, who is a self procalimed "doctor", insisted since he had "never personally seen a thin starving person in his county, by his logic ...none exist", proving the old adage " if you cant see it, it wont hurt you " is not only true, but a popular viewpoint in the white republican community.

When pressed to explain how he might explain hunger in the usa, poverty , or starvation, Clean began to speak about his allegedly beautiful wife , barbie, and then insisting he does all sorts of stuff for charity. he added, " I have a job, and i make a lot of money , so i have to go to bed." and fled the room on cue.

In a related story, no confirmation in yet as to wether "DRILLER 50" is in fact, "DR." Clean. . we will stay on this important story for you , the reader. who we love. lots. no shit. damn we love you .kiss kiss. :)


Shown here in his best battle dress uniform, BEAR IN CHAIR prepares to report for duty as a chat room monitor for "The Man".

Known for his racist demeanor and lack of substance, style, or wit, the best he can usually do is insist he is disabled so you should feel obligated to allow him to spew a stream of borderline racist shit in chat rooms. His other skill is to spew a stream of overtly racist shit in rooms and insist since he says he is disabled you should feel obligated to allow him to do it.


Tuesday, October 18, 2005


In what has become an all too frequent occurance on PALTALK, local Extremist crazy nut job BOBBY MC GEE (above) once again violated the internet chat programs' terms of service and was removed by program administrators early this week, returning as RICHOCHET REBEL.

Shown here earlier this week after his banning, BOBBY MC GEE remarked that he hated everyone in the known universe equally, and is really nice nice guy who hates every known life form on earth, including himself, adding that nothing would please him more than to see all known life extinguished. Apologising profusely for his remarks, he then reiterated them, in what has now become a marathon of bullshit on PALTALK since early tuesday evening.

Since its inception , PALTALK has never had to deal with such a huge torrent of pure waste since the old BUSH HQ closed down last year, and special "internet plumbers" have been called in to help deal with this problem.

Apparently, a large portion of PALTALK users noticed a larger than usual flow of raw sewage in the social issues section, and the leak was traced by PALTALK technicians to BOBBY MC GEE early tuesday night after a room of PALTALK Republicans almost drowned in the waste, not noticing it as 'any different from their own conversation' as it flooded the room and left almost 30 chatters stranded in the outer reaches of SOCIAL ISSUES.

BOBBY MC GEE will likely continue his act unimpeded through this week, doing shows at irregular intervals until he has to once again flee "THE MAN" and relocate to a new location.



Vic ferrari, longtime paltalk citizen and known liar, once again displayed his insecurity to a room of over 50 people today, as he berated the room with his now famous but overused " you lefty looney liberals hate free speech because you let me speak in here and no one pays me any attention" .
To underline his point, ferrari then attempted to get the attention of anyone in the room who would name him in text. (It is of note, mr ferrari was not stopped from speaking about how lefty looney liberals hate free speech.) few cared to respond, bored by this display of attention seeking, which is a frequent happening in mainstream politics, which is the only good room on a certain chat program.

Later , when ferrari was questioned about his feelings on the legitimacy of rendition policy used by the U.S.A in iraq, and as a foreign policy tool, ferrari at first stalled out , refusing to answer.
" I dont answer questions from libs." ferrari quipped, quoting his G.O.P issued republican fake book. When pressed on the issue, ferrari did eventually admit he thinks torture is a wonderful policy for the usa, and that he fully supports torture! Unfortunately mr ferrari is unaware that torture as a foreign policy does not produce any ammount of significant intelligence for our military, and does in FACT create more terrorists! Torture tends to elicit any response the torturer desires. Perhaps ferrari is hiding deep seated longings for some big daddy type discipline, or perhaps he is just angry his wife left him flat broke with no car and a mailbox full of credit card bills for hotel rooms she booked up with other men .perhaps he is upset those lucky people in iraq get torture for free, and he has to pay big money for it downtown at mistress cheneys republican torture hut and bar / bank/ grill. does anyone really know? Either way you slice it, we have a prime example of how people who say they support bush have to also support torture! in essence, i suspect many republicans actually pay big money to the large "S&M" industry for such treatment, and likely think eveyone else should be glad for the freebie!

We here at the KLATLAP will bring you more on this conservative as he develops.



Unclebob5 (pictured above in a photo taken by his cellmate ) well known paltalk racist, and drunken asshole, tonight made a surprise appearnace on paltalk in mainstream politics.

In what critics called " typical bob bullshit" he was not out of prison for 15 minutes before he had violated his own parole , and was sent back to prison, where his cell was still waiting.

In Unclebob5s' absence, donations may be sent to the fund to help drunken paltalk racists, care of High Falutin, who I suspect is unclebobs' mom, or sister. Or wife. OR all three. eeew.



SLAMMER 18, (pictured here) local paltalk fuckhole and redneck troll artist, is pictured here right after he finally learned to spell his own name in big block letters on a sheet of special paper with big big lines on it. . Sources say he might soon be able to pronounce his name also, but only after he gets the tampon out of his mouth. Which may be never. Recently, SALMMER 18 had learned he wets himself if he doesnt get to the bathroom in time, women find him repulsive, and some one has been using his mouth as a disposal for used femminine hygeine products, such as pictured left.

Slammer cut short his visit to mainstream politics, after he realised he was so fuckin drunk he had a tampon is his mouth.



Apparently eating a meat pie as he spoke, rowley came into mainstream to berate liberals on how to debate. this cast off dreck meister of social issues is well known for his acerbic demeanor and his proclivity to lie about people he dislikes. Apparently some people think thier shit doesnt stink. rowleys does. It was not obvious if Rowley was drunk, but we might as well assume so.
this reporter notices that the biggest assholes always plead for civility, and i think i know why. they get tired of everyone calling them the shit they are. I say, get used to it assholes. no one owes you anything, and you arent any better than anyone else.