Friday, November 18, 2005

ENEMY UNIFORMS FOUND IN LOCAL DOLLAR STORE


This set of enemy uniforms were found at a local DOLLAR STORE, and are exact replicas of the ones worn by real P.T.A. soldiers.

Shown here are two examples of the uniforms from the

FIRST UNBRAINED COMMUNICATION KOMMAND, Eastern Reserve Station

( known as "The F.U.C.K.E.R.S.") , and shows the markings of two of the" F.U.C.K.E.R.S. " unit commanders, FHOTO, and BEAR IN CHAIR.

The camoflauge enemy uniform sets are made of only the finest moisture- resistant vinyl, and include a working" P.T.A. style replica radio", a "crap bomb", a"non working compass", a" shiny badge to let everyone know how important you are", and also includes an official "Waaaaaaaaahmbulance Drivers License". The uniforms are labelled on the reverse with large block letters 10 inches high reading "F.U.C.K.E.R.S.", and the bag also doubles as a toy for conservative children who never see their P.T.A. parents who are far away fighting an internet war.

The package is standard issue to the troops of the P.T.A., and many P.T.A. troops try to get as many "P.T.A. radios" as they can, creating a severe shortage of radios in PTA units during recent battles on PALTALK, which has led to major defeats on the internet battlefield due to diminished or reduced communications ability. The radios reportedly pose a choking hazard to the P.T.A. troops since they must be fully inserted into the mouth to function correctly. In fact this has not even phased new recruits or even veteran P.T.A. warriors such as COMMANDER SALT SPRING who is known to regularly talk on 3 or even 4 of the radios at one time during heated internet battles. The "P.T.A. RADIO" is the biggest tool of P.T.A. forces, and is used to call in UNFAIRSTRIKES, COPY AND PASTE TEXT, BLOCK LINKS IN CHATROOMS WHICH MENTION PHOTO, TATTLE, CALL FOR BACKUP, and also listen to BILL OREILLY.

Without the "P.T.A. RADIO" most P.T.A. TROOPS are rendered ineffectual , unable to even speak, not to mention come up with original ideas.

IN RELATED PALTALK WAR NEWS

***FUCK YOU BOATS from the KLATLAP NAVAL FLEET were able to severly disrupt ememy communications , sinking 3 P.T.A. POOPSHIPS , and damaging a SCARECRAFT CARRIER late last night on PALTALK, throwing the enemy high command into a frenzy of activity which proved later to be utterly futile.

*** Advancing P.T.A. troops carrying PFLEGM THROWERS were rendered useless when they entered the MAINSTREAM POLITICS room and became covered in "FRIENDLY FIRE" slime which came from BRUTE LOGIC, and COMMANDER SALT SPRING, forcing an involuntary retreat back to the HATE MUSLIMS ROOM they all came from.

***KLATLAP INTEL reports say that ENEMY OPERATIVE THE CITIZEN was captured last night by KLATLAP SPECIAL FORCES posing as sultry fat republican grandmas, an ongoing operation which never fails to snare entire P.T.A. brigades with the lure of elderly conservative grandma cow love. Vast hordes of fat republican grandma lovin' P.T.A. FOOTSOLDIERS have fled the scene of battle after being caught with pants down, causing extremely low morale in allready devestated and strained units of the P.T.A..

***Enemy attacks on the Capitol of NOOGIELAND forced a hasty retreat of COMMANDER DOBBS, who retaliated by using his overwhelming creativity to totally fuck up 2 more "F.U.C.K.E.R.S." of the P.T.A. , in a hilarious tactical victory for the KLATLAP UNIFIED FORCES. COMMANDER DOBBS did not retreat from the battlefield, but said " NO ONE will provoke ME with IMPUNITY!" and immediately went back to rattling cages.


NOOGIE

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