Friday, November 18, 2005


In a heartfelt outpouring of compassion and empathy, local self righteous skank FLA LADY described her new "CONSERVATIVE DISASTER SURVIVAL KIT", exactly the same as the one she used to get her family through the Katrina disaster.

The "CONSERVATIVE SURVIVAL KIT" as it is known , was purchased at a local Fried chicken franchise, and includes enough food and supplies to get a typical conservative family of 3 through important disasters they happen to be watching on television.

Fla Lady herself relied on the sustenence , nutrition and supplies in this "conservative survival kit" as she watched T.V. news and complained about "black people stealing plasma T.V. sets", and " elderly people who were not 'smart enough' to point their wheelvchairs and oxygen tents away from the disaster and start walking" during the recent hurricanes on the American Gulf coast. "it gets so tiring, yelling at the tv to those stupid disaster victims who couldnt help themselves." FLA LADY commented, noting "That chicken is damn good , too. I like the chicken fat best. No one does it like that local fried chicken franchise. All those stupid victims had to do was go buy some chicken, you can't tell me they don't have chicken down south. Did the think that president Bush would deliver the chicken to them if they stayed?"

"It's up to people to help themselves, the U.S. government and other agencies like F.E.M.A. are not first responders, and Bush is not to Blame!" FLA LADY quipped, adding, "Any person can go right out and get some disaster supplies, like I did. There is no excuse for not being prepared. If anyone went unaided in the recent disasters on our nations' gulf coast, it is simply their own fault for not preparing properly."

When informed that F.E.M.A was actually the designated first responder, FLA LADY responded by remarking " I give more to charity than most people make in a year."

The survival kit can be purchased at local fried chicken franchises and includes 10 pieces of mixed chicken in choice of coatings, 2 large fountain beverages, 2 large sides, 4 dinner rolls, plus assorted condiments and napkins. Wet naps are included at no extra charge.

Local chicken franchise owners met earlier today to plan ahead for what they predict to be a "Torrent" of the kits being purchased after friday, when indictments are likely aganst high level White House staffers, and have ordered extra chicken, breading, rolls, and wet naps to handle the expected deluge of conservatives seeking the survival kits over the next weekend.

"Our only regret is we cannot legally sell liquor, or we would for sure make a killing monetarily." commented a local chicken franchiser.

M.B. from


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