Friday, November 18, 2005

KLATLAP INFILTRATES "SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX" - DISCOVERS TATTLING, BATTLING, PRATTLING



This mission appeared to be a simple one. Infiltrate the enemy weakhold of SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX, and issue a detailed report on all enemy activity. The main problem was not in possibly being detected, but more the obnoxious stench we knew we would encounter. More that that , the rooms' awful mix of soft middle age, hopelessness, futility, and regret over lives not fulfilled , with the prospect of never being fulfilled blended with a heaping helping of arrogance and close mindedness made us remember to bring our ASS MASKS for safety, we knew it was gonna be knee deep in PALTALK ASSHOLES on this one!


We were dropped behind enemy lines and easily found our room, entering and taking a seat in back. We were not detected, and set up equipmet to detect intelligent life. no signs, only insensate vegetable matter, but we proceeded, having heard voices .

SOMETHING WAS GOIN ON..........

MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was the center of attention in the room for some reason..WHY? we would find out soon enough.

We listened....

NUTTYCR8ZY came to the mic and really let it fly at MOTHERS, dropping her pants and farting right in MOTHERS face. She said MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was ruining her chat experience and wanted her out of her room now or she would get up on cam in the room and do her impression of JIMMY DURANTE by sticking a zucchini up her ass.

HIGH FALUTIN ( Using an alias nic now registered in the PALTALK RACISTS DATABASE as "TARGET132") acts her role as she chides MOTHER BRULE SIOUX's daughter for turning into a porn star! (whats's up with that?) IN true arrogant racist bigot full of herself HIGH FALUTIN style which she is famous for on PALTALK as she spews her hateful ignorant virulence , she accused NORTHWEST of being ANTI AMERICAN , having seen him in MAINSTREAM POLITICS! ! ! !

BOAZ FRANKEL heard HIGH FALUTIN , woke up out of his coma and whipped out his huge tongue to give HIGH FALUTIN a quick lick, then XXLUANXX got up and asked MOTHERS about pasting her pms with her' online cyber hubby' into the room, proving that rooms run by BOAZ FRANKEL and STARLYIN are full of fat middle aged stay at home assholes who have nothing better to do but sit and either spill their guts in hopes of either free internet advice or sympathy or alternately pry into each others petty meaningless lives and then attack each other over petty personal gossip, who ratted out who, and so forth.

The discussion then turned to "who ratted out whom and was it a TOS violation", and the court of public opinion was on! But what was the story? Ratted out? hmmm. TOS violations? we dug in and crept closer to the enemy bunker, using our RATTLER HI FREQ NOISE FILTERS to get a super clear audio of this ongoing "court of PALTALK opinion".

"Throw her out! Throw her out!" NUTTYCR8ZY typed furiously while she rubbed her vibrator over her hard penis, moaning with delight at the prospect of having someone to yell things like "Fuck you, get out! You are DONE HERE!" at in her breathy low voice which sounded like she was either speaking with a PALTALK ARMY RADIO in her mouth or had taken more than her normal daily dose of TESTOSTERONE, We didnt ask, but we suspect both.

We were afraid to get too close for fear of being detected! These crazies can carry virulent diseases like "RED-DOTOSIS" or "BOOTSIES" which rapidly spread, destroying internet chat rooms in minutes. WE hung in back and made no movement as we observed....

ARCHIE BUNKER attended to all the ladies in the room, licking their feet and toes in a frenzy of hopefulness which once again did not pay off . ( Did you learn that toe licking foot worship thing from BRUTE LOGIC, ARCHIE? Let us know!) ARCHIE has had a hard run of luck in the other PALTALK chat rooms lately, and is making his new "nest" in a room full of close minded fucks just like himself! We know ARCHIE BUNKER will really enjoy his new pals, as he tries to forget the rooms he cannot enter without being subject to ridicule for his ridiculous beliefs and inability to do much more than repeat 4 or 5 word phrases he heard BILL OREILLY say minutes earlier. GOOD FOR YOU ARCHIE! We promise to make sure BRUTELOGIC shows up in your new home soon too!!! WHERE HE BELONGS!!!!! We hope you FINALLY see your PLACE, and STOP stinking up GOOD ROOMS !

Does ARCHIE BUNKER prove our theory that idiots and assholes have a specific gravitational pull which attracts other assholes at an increased rate, which must multiply as more and more assholes and morons assemble, eventually creating a BLACK HOLE OF INTELLECT which can suck in and swallow up all intelligent thought and replace it with FAT MIDDLE AGE WHITEBREAD ASSHOLES WHO LOVE TO GOSSIP!!!!!
BEWARE!

NUTTYCR8ZY jumped up to the mic again and finally did her impression of JIMMY DURANTE by jamming a zucchini up her ass on CAM, to the delight of the entire room, who was almost getting tired of the COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION. SOMEONE CALL LETTERMAN! This woman has talent! CARNEGIE HALL anyone? NUTTYCR8ZY can play almost all brass and woodwind instruments USING ONLY HER ASS!!! RUMOR has it she learned her skill from SIR LUNCH A LOT who now can only weakly play the ASS BUGLE he calls speaking in MAINSTREAM POLITICS.

When OH DONNA AU asked in text why anyone cared about MOTHERs life, NUTTYCR8ZY replied by making OH DONNA AU the subject of the temporary court, threatening the new chatter with retribution from her friend who ran the room, STARLYIN, and rubbing her paltalk asshole badge until it shone like the sun.

STARLYIN stampeded from her stall, took the mic and demanded the MIC TEST of DONNA , who turned out to be GABBY (or ANGEL GRACIE) and was promptly bounced as soon as STARLYIN realised who it really was.

POLITICAL REALIST also got up on mic and was promptly booted out also, much to the delight of even this crap crowd! POLITICAL REALIST, dude, you are B O R I N G. CAPITAL "B". SHUT UP. It was the only" good" thing we witnessed in the room, The sound of POLITICAL REALIST PASSING GAS is probably preferable to him speaking, but to our surprise, both smell the same! LIKE POOP!! PEE YEW! Unfortunately POLITICAL REALIST had been trying to talk about MOTHERS, and STARLYIN booted him saying "I TOLD YOU NO MORE OF THIS INDIAN SHIT!" OHHH! TEMPER TEMPER!!! Someone send that lady some FUCKITOL!! PRONTO!!!

The mystery deepened. The smell worsened. Who had played recordings of MOTHERS, and what was it really all about? We didn't really care, but when THE RATTLER investigates, we deliver!

MOTHERS kept returning to the mic and kept trying to make herself and her obviously twisted life the subject of controversy in the room of people who amazingly suddenly, for a micro-second, appeared to have some normality when put in comparison to MOTHERS. But only for a micro-second, as we realised they all sorta belonged together in their lil playpen!
THEY NEED EACH OTHER! THEY NEED AN INSULAR PROTECTED ENVORONMENT!

Then we got the scoop.

MOTHERS reported to PALTALK a person who was in the room "SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX". MOTHERS alleges this unnamed person allegedly violated PALTALK TOS by playing a recording of her in the chatroom without her permission.

NOW it all made sense to us, and we were glad, because we really hate this sort of mission.

The court was a TRIAL to get a CONFESSION from MOTHERS that she ratted out someone in the room who was a popular person, and therefore be able to assign blame to MOTHERS for expecting paltalk to hold up its own TOS, and place blame on MOTHERS as a PALTALK SNITCH!!!

NUTTYCR8ZY came up to the mic and goaded MOTHERS again, saying she was "Done . Finished, just go away, disapear, we are done talkin about ya. get the fuck out!" and then tying a cherry stem in a square knot with BOAZ FRANKELS limp tongue with movements so deft BOAZ didnt even wake up!

Who is mothers cyber hubby?

THE MYSTERY REMIANS...........Because MOTHERS BRULE SIOUX was BOOTED OUT of SOCIAL ISSUES SANDBOX by an angry STARLYIN, who stood on her hind legs and ejected MOTHERS from the room, so the real fun could begin!

And the witty intellectual banter continued! Now it was time to bash on MOTHERS for being a PALTALK SNITCH!!!!! THE FUN WAS ON, the GLOVES WERE OFF!!!

"If you had to put up with MOTHERS in real life you would go for the pillow" STARLYIN said, coming remarkably close to advocating death of another! Lucky for her she gets the BLIND EYE treatment from PALTALK! She has Powerful friends! LOOK OUT!

Then the subect switched to how each person would "deal" with MOTHERS in their own "perfect world" scenario!

STARLYIN suggested a pitchfork, noting that she lives in the country.

KIBITZERS suggested thorazine and a car ride to the insane asylum.

NUTTYCR8ZY got back on cam and played "THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER" using only a trumpet she had stuck up her own ass, and the room quieted down a bit, happy to hear an old favorite, and happy to be all togetherr like a big happy dysfunctional family, to pry, chide, gloat, lord over, and brow beat each other in their own little PLAYPEN of sorts.

WE COULDNT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. WE FELT DIRTY. we bugged out and called for airlift home, and were picked up without incident. We did manage to get a picture of the PALTALK ARMY CONTROL CENTER, it is posted at the top. SCARY.

Other assorted quips from this room, attended by such intellectuals as XXLUANXX, JANNHERE, ANCIENT ALCHEMY, KABOOM, ICE-CRUSHER, DONT LOOK DOWN, MIZ MEEK, JUST ME MOLLY, POLITICAL REALIST, ARCHIE BUNKER, BOAZ FRANKEL, STARLYIN, NUTTYCR8ZY , and their pals...............

MIZ MEEK (To MOTHERS, discussing reservations) "Howmany jobs do you have? what do you do, sweep?"

STARLYIN "You registered your kid on the reservation for the free stuff."

ANCIENT ALCHEMY "The lesson here ..dont marry indians."

JANNHERE "That's 'indian math' for you! No indian shit here mothers, bye! heh heh!"

KABOOM "lol jan."


THANKS FOR PLAYPENS !

NOTE - we had to burn our uniforms, the stink would not come out.


KLATLAP SPECIAL OPS DIVISION

COMMANDER TATTLE TALE

FOR THE KLATLAP ARMED FORCES

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